Thinking and missing my mother

 My mother was an incredible woman.  Who was my mother as a person?  What made her what she was?  What influenced her?  What happened in her life to shape her character?  We could each ask that some questions about ourselves.  We are complicated people, right?

I remember mother telling me that when she was little she took a pair of scissors and cut a 4" fringe on the bottom of all the lace curtains in the living room.  She says that her mother defended her against an outraged grandmother.  She says she had a happy and protected childhood.

I think some of mothers strengths came from joining the LDS church.  She said that when she was first baptized it didn't mean much to her.  My father wanted her to and she wanted to because he wanted her to.  If it has not been for Lorin, she may not have ever joined the church.  She said that joining the church was worth all her worry and woe and indeed worry and woe did come into her life.  She divorced Lorin because of irresponsibility, drinking, heartbreak and separation.  She was left to raise 5 children on her own.  There were hard years and lean years.  But her children were the most important thing to her and she worked hard her whole life to support and take care of us.

As I was making bread today I remembered an incident that happened when I was in college.  Mother made about 14 loaves of Norwegian Holiday Bread.  As she finished the second to the last batch she noticed a hole in the bottom of the plastic bowl she had been mixing dough in.  So in order to keep the liquids from all running away before she had a chance to get the flour in, she plugged the hole with a strip of white cotton cloth.  She got all the little loaves of bread in the oven, started washing the dishes and when she got to the bread bowl, the hole was there, but no cloth plug!!  She looked in every plausible place for it, but couldn't find it.  There was only one place where she couldn't look, and that was in one of those loaves of bread, so to those who received a loaf from that batch, she had to give instructions to look for a strip of cloth so they wouldn't think it was a strip of a dirty dishrag, or an unknown object introduced by a very careless cook.  Mother lived by the motto, "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."  She always, always 'made do' in many instances and she 'did without' in many more.

Mother liked ordinary pleasures, her flower garden, a good book, or crossword puzzle, a good meal and gathering with her family.  Woody Allen said that "85% of life is just showing up."  Mother always showed up as a faithful mother, a giving grandmother, a contributing Church member and teacher and a good neighbor.  She gave what she could, when she could and did it the best way she could.  I am better for having had her as my mother.  She left me a beautiful heritage of love, testimony, service, forgiveness and faith.  She was an example of how to face difficulties with resolve, how to stop and smell the roses, and how to live life gratefully and productively, believing the promise that is we endure to the end, God will make all things right one day.  

I love you mother and I miss you greatly!