I became a bride and a ‘wicked step mother’ in the same ceremony. In barely more time than it takes to wink and eye, my life was transformed from being a single parent of two, to becoming a wife and instant step mother of 5.
As a small child, I remember fantasying about the day that I would become a beautiful bride. I never wished or fantasized about becoming a step mother when I grew up. Stepmoms are the stuff of fairytales. They were never a part of any fairytale that I pictured myself in. I have found that it can make for a very tricky terrain. Stepmothers take on several different meanings such as: one step removed, second best, or stepping into some else's shoes. As a stepmother, all of these terms have felt familiar at one time or another throughout my almost 22 years of marriage.
If you stop to think about it, step families present difficult situations and why shouldn’t they. They are somewhat like an arranged marriage. People that are barely more than acquaintances are expected to come together and live in the intimacy of one home. It seems you are always aware of your relationship. A step relationship is kind of like an in-law one. You react spontaneously to a parent and no matter how angry you become most of what is said in anger is forgotten. In dealing with a stepparent or child, you are always conscious of your tone and especially what you say.
I guess the conclusion I have come to is there appears to be no gray areas when dealing with ‘step mothers’. The stepmother seems to be the one who is always responsible for any problems. Very unfair in my way of thinking and quite a load to carry on ones shoulders, don’t you think?
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